HUNGRY but it’s 00:30 and it wouldn’t be healthy to eat now (who am I kidding, I had double carbs today for lunch and then TWO HUGE slices of bread with a chocolate cream, tell me about healthy) and I just had wine (so that’s calories as well) and I should go to sleep oh god, food is so complicated for me I wish it wasn’t

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"  

she asks why your chest is
a belfry of doves, all
weeping,

she is star-child, good-future,
you are too old to know better but
too young to do good, you are
the scrape of a knee,
you are broken teeth

she asks why you’re the sound of seven thousand seams,
all splitting infinitely, why good lord but your laughter
sounds an awful lot
like screams

but when you were eight your mama told you
that bodies are always rotting and only the clean ones see god
and you’ve been trying to distill yourself ever since
trying to scrub out all this earth and solvent
maybe somewhere in all that frantic
you accidentally lost your way maybe
somewhere in all that tragic
you accidentally forgot your name

see the truth you are suffocating under the stagelights
of everyone else’s eyes
because goddamn but they want everything from you
and not a single word of complaint but
how are you supposed to be
both the canvas
and the paint

you want to rip yourself up and hold out your
frozen tundra soul
beg them all ‘is this good enough is
this perfect enough is this
whole?”

  "
-Monotomic Gold: Part 1/9 in a series // r.i.d (via inkskinned)
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danielodowd:

untitled by Anna Ristuccia on Flickr.
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